


somewhere far away (from the sight of me not moving)

by myrifique



Series: How Ted Met Britta [1]
Category: Community, How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Totally Unofficial Summer of Britta Crossovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-07
Updated: 2010-07-07
Packaged: 2017-10-10 10:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/98797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrifique/pseuds/myrifique
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Britta gets a job at MacClaren's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	somewhere far away (from the sight of me not moving)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of the [Totally Unofficial Summer of Awesome Britta Crossovers](http://delicious.com/myr_heille/TotallyUnofficialSummerOfAwesomeBrittaCrossovers) that [anythingbutgrey](http://anythingbutgrey.livejournal.com/) and I fantasized about in the comments of [_on hiatus_](http://ineffort.livejournal.com/199061.html?thread=3787157#t3787157), a great fic by [falseeyelashes](http://falseeyelashes.livejournal.com/). And it's Britta week at [community_tv](http://community.livejournal.com/community_tv/)'s summer school! So everybody should write stuff for the Totally Unofficial Summer of Awesome Britta Crossovers. Do it do it do it do it.
> 
> This was beta'ed by my awesome husband and my wonderful BFF [gabsy](http://gabsy.livejournal.com/), but we all mostly speak French. If you find stuff that's egregious, please tell me. Title from Tegan and Sara's _Hop a Plane_.

When Britta calls Abed to tell him she's going on a roadtrip, she can just about hear him nod wisely just before he says "I understand. This is a classic reaction to an unexpected romantic development. Do you want company? You'll need someone to be your sidekick on the wacky adventures you'll no doubt end up on." And this is probably exactly why she called Abed and not Shirley or whatever. She needs someone to make it all seem like fiction, like it's not real, like she didn't just make a huge fourteen-year-old of herself. So she thanks him for the offer, but says no. No wacky adventures will be had, she'll be fine, just warn the others so they don't think she died or something equally dramatic.

She packs her bag in a second and gets in the car, wanting to drive, drive, drive. The sun is rising and she decides, _East_. She drives for twelve hours straight, a little crazed and a lot caffeinated, before crashing in a motel room right at the border between Iowa and Illinois. She's a hell of a long way from home and it's goddamn wonderful. She finally seems to feel the shame washing away a bit, with the distance, with the thought that there's no way Jeff will find her here. Not that he'd try to, she thinks, and then she kicks herself for bringing that pointy face right back in her head. Fuck it.

She sleeps for hours and blinks her way into consciousness way too late, she's on a schedule, she should get moving. But she doesn't. She stares at the ceiling for a minute more, and it's quiet. She breathes a little easier. She even takes the luxury to plan ahead a little, thinks about New Orleans, Niagara Falls, the ocean, diverging routes like glimpses of control over her life. She ends up calling an old high school friend and sets off for New York. She's there in a day and a half. Motherfucking NYC.

\---

Wendy lives in a tiny apartment, but there's a couch that she lends her with a smile. On her first night, Britta spills the beans about the Tranny dance, and Jeff, and two of her best friends making out. Wendy laughs a little bit but she hugs her tight. Most importantly, she offers her enough Johnny Walker to have her rolling on the floor at the first joke. It feels so good to have someone who's a hundred percent on her side, even with her extreme ridiculousness over the whole situation.

On the next morning (the noon-morning), there's a big guy with a shaved head making eggs. For a second Britta feels extremely self-conscious about her usual Kurt Cobain hangover look, but he smiles at her like he's used to it. Wendy introduces him as Carl. They eat their breakfast listening to Carl's story about a hockey player who came into the bar where they both work and about some Robin girl who just about lost her panties talking to him. At first Britta gets in a mini-tirade about the stupidity of worshiping athletes, but her heart isn't in it, and she just lets herself enjoy the rest of the anecdote. Carl and Wendy then debate on the significance on this Robin not leaving with the hockey player: Carl says she's dating Barney again (probably not the purple one, Britta reasons), while Wendy argues that she's just feeling bad about Don.

They talk like a couple and when Carl gives Wendy a kiss as he leaves the apartment, Britta feels a little pang of yearning, like she'd do anything to have something like that with ~~Jeff~~someone. Of course, she immediately chides herself for wanting a Man and forgetting that she is Woman, Hear Her Roar. But still. The thought was there at some point. Goddamn.

\---

Britta thinks about doing the touristy thing and even half-heartedly goes to a Broadway show, just because it's New York and she probably should. But when Wendy tells her that the bar just lost a bartender (something about him knocking out a guy because of his toupee), it feels like fate. Wendy is sleeping with the boss, anyway, so she puts in a good word for Britta. Next thing she knows, she's mixing drinks behind the bar and bringing burgers to clients. It's pretty awesome.

On her first night, this happens:

Some guy in a suit comes running in, right up to a table with four other people, then backtracks without a word to them, points at her and says "I will be back for you in a minute" before running back. Wendy rolls her eyes;

Some cheesy pop song about malls starts to play on the jukebox, and one of the girls at the aforementioned table screams "oh my God, Barney". The guy in a suit turns his head to wink at Wendy, who's barely containing her laughter;

She breaks three glasses and a half;

Some guy with fake right-out-of-bed hair comes to tell her he sympathizes, because he broke a lot of stuff when he briefly had his own bar;

While he does it, the giant guy at his table screams "don't ruin the bar, Ted!";

Britta gives him her number.

What. She's living life to its fullest, or something. Taking risks and stuff. It's not like any of this is real, anyway. It's like being away at summer camp: she knows her real circle of crazy friends is back home. That anything she does here will just fade away as soon as the first bell rings in September. But she really, really doesn't want to think about that right now.

He calls her exactly three days later, even though in the meantime she sees him every day, smiling a little every time he comes to order drinks. When she tells Abed about it, he details to her every occurrence in every television show where the three-days rule is mentioned. She tries to ignore the homesickness that comes with his speech. But then he asks if she wants him to tell Jeff about her date - "I'd be ready to do it, to restore the balance once more and possibly allow for a relationship with the Cherry Blossom character, Annie. Also, (he adds as an afterthought) I'm Team Britta." - and everything crashes back on her. She's staying here, thank you very much. The only adorable douche she'll think about is the one who wants to show her the Empire State Building tomorrow night.

\---

Ted is a good kisser, and he's funny, and he's cute. He doesn't laugh at her when she goes on her tangents about world peace and activism. Sometimes she gets the weird feeling that they're kind of the same, that they're both pretending to care. Ted is a genuinely good person, though, nicer than Jeff and less all-over-the-place than Vaughn. (Even though she knows she shouldn't compare. They're all just there, the last three men she kissed swirling around in her mind.) But she pushes the thoughts away, because this thing with Ted isn't serious, it's just for the summer. So it's okay that it sort of becomes a whirlwind kind of thing. She starts to sleep over at Ted's every night - it's more comfortable than the couch, and she can't beat the commute to work, she rationalizes. (And also, she doesn't disturb Carl and Wendy there. And they don't disturb her.)

She's there even when Ted isn't, just hanging out, watching TV and whatnot. Robin and her have similarly crazy schedules so they often end up together, ordering takeouts at weird hours and drinking (surprisingly tasty) Canadian beer. At first Robin intimidates Britta a little bit. They're the same age but Robin has like, a career, and she's living the whole single lifestyle without a care in the world, and she just generally seems to have her shit together. But it turns out that Robin thinks her show is pretty terrible, and that she let go of a career opportunity because of a guy. So Britta feels better about being her insecure, community-colleged, love-declarating self around her.

Britta inches closer to Ted's other friends, too. She wingmans for Barney. Unwittingly, from behind the bar, sending drinks. She considers it wingmaning because she refrains from also sending a note that says "Do no go out with the guy, ever. Half some self-respect. You are Woman." with every drink. She talks about environment protection with Marshall and even attends a rally or too with him. Even if sitting somewhere singing Earth songs makes her wrinkle her nose at the memory of Vaughn and No Worries (Some Worries).

One time she's walking around Central Park with Ted (he offers her a candied apple, she gets out her "fake cynical / secretly pleased" expression once more). The sun is blazing and she feels a little weird with her leather coat on. So when Lily talks about shopping and sales sales sales, she finds herself joining in. Lily finds her a flowery dress, which makes Britta feel like Annie when she puts it on. But Lily swears she looks fantastic, gushing enough to guide Britta all the way to the register. The first time she wears it, Ted beams and twirls her around before promptly getting her out of it. She feels like a goddamn girly girl and swears a motherfucking lot more to compensate for her softer edges.

Three weeks and a half into her New York Adventure, she calls Abed. She tells him about this hilarious time she played laser tag with Barney, Robin and Ted, and Barney sprained his ankle in his enthusiasm. (And Ted and her made out in a secluded corner, but she doesn't mention that. She's beginning to wonder if she has some kind of war fantasy.) Abed laughs in this funny way he has, like he knows he's supposed to. But then he's quiet, and he says "You are coming back, right? I wouldn't want you to pull a Jim Halpert just because last season ended on a romantic cliffhanger." And she laughs and waves him away, because of course, she's coming back, this isn't serious. She has her own crazy friends and she doesn't want to forget that just because working at MacClaren's is the awesomest job she's ever had. And you know. She really wants to learn about anthropology, etc.

Still, she isn't thinking about anthropology too much when she walks around New York, hand in hand with Ted, listening to him talk about the various buildings on the skyline. Nor when he shares his omelet with her at brunch, and she gives him bacon in exchange. It's weird to be this couple-y. Half of her brain is constantly laughing at themselves for how cheesy they're being. But Ted seems to get that, her need to be cynical even as she's having the time of her life, and he takes it with a knowing smile when she teases him about being a gigantic girl. It's infuriating. But comforting at the same time.

She tells him all about Greendale, about the Spanish classes, the Christmas fight, the priority registration, the frog with the sombrero. She even talks about the Tranny dance, and Ted's eyes get all misty. She laughs at him but secretly she's so fucking relieved that somebody else knows how ridiculous she felt, how goddamn lonely it was up there on that scene. Ted hugs her close and kisses her hair and says he's sorry she had to go through that. Then he tells her about Stella and being left at the altar in Shelter Island, and she kisses him too before saying what a pathetic couple of rejected folks they make. He laughs and he kisses her back, telling her Jeff is a crazy person who needs to get his eyes fixed. In the subsequent sexing she finds herself thinking that she could maybe, possibly, eventually fall in love with him. But she's not the kind of girl who makes two love declarations in such a short period. And anyway, July is turning into August, and she's going back home. So.

\---

Working at the bar and living above it gives her increased insight on everybody. For example, Barney and Robin sure seem to be hanging out at the bar a lot. So she isn't particularly surprised when she walks in on them making out in the back alley as she takes the trash out. Or when Robin mumbles "it's not what you think"s mixed with Barney's "don't tell Lily"s. There's also that time when Lily is the one to get drinks for everyone, and she asks quietly if Britta could make her Bloody Mary more on the virgin side, her hand rubbing her belly self-consciously. Britta starts to smile hugely before Lily hushes her, because they want to keep it secret for a while, blah blah blah. Britta keeps secrets like a hairdresser, texting Shirley about them when they're too juicy.

She gets great at mixing cocktails and sends Troy recipes, offering her services for the back-to-school party he and Pierce are already planning. She emails Annie once, telling her about all of the anthropology research she's doing in New York in order to be a good study buddy. She even calls Jeff, after gathering her courage - mostly thanks to multiple orgasms and flowers. (Seriously, _flowers_, could Ted be any cheesier? He pretends it's just to liven up the apartment. Whatever. She's on to him.)

She half-hopes she'll get Jeff's machine, but he answers. He seems happy to talk to her. He says that he misses her, that they all do. For a moment she aches to be back there, to watch terrible movies with Abed and to dance with Troy and to be offended by Pierce. Jeff clears his throat a little before saying that he's been kinda sorta dating Annie. There's a worried note in his voice, and she can tell he cares, and she finds she's all right with it. She jokes that she was the one who just wanted to be friends, that she hopes they'll be very happy. That she'll also keep a close eye on them both and kick his ass at the first sign of a Disney face. Jeff sighs and she can practically hear the relief oozing out of him.

\---

There's two weeks and a half to go before school starts and Ted has been walking around with a frowny face. Yesterday everything kind of boiled up and they got in a shouting match, Ted asking why the hell she needed to go back to a community college, Britta getting all insulted that he wasn't taking her future seriously, Ted screaming that this was all about going back to Jeff, Britta throwing things at him because how dare he act like he owns her. She slammed the door and slept at Wendy's, but this morning it was raining and it all just felt so fucking depressing that she had to get back to Ted, jumping on him as soon as he opened the door. The make-up sex is great, but it kind of makes everything worse.

The days seem to fly by, her hip basically attached to Ted's all the time. On her last night Marshall pulls her aside and starts talking about how Ted is _in love_ with her, and that's extremely ridiculous of course. Then he goes on and on about her staying here, because there are community colleges all over the place but she won't be able to find this thing with Ted anywhere else. Her heart just seems to want to get out of her chest, wow, what is that about. She lashes out on Marshall a little, telling her that not every couple is an epic love story like Lily and him and how dare he. But Marshall doesn't look pissed off at all, he just shakes his head a little sadly and hugs her, saying "we're gonna miss you" in this sad, sweet little tone. If she was the kind of girl who sobbed, she probably would be right now.

She puts off leaving for as long as she can, but the sun is still not very high in the sky when Ted accompanies her to her car, two days before school starts. She kisses him one last time before getting in the car, thinking about anthropology, about not being pinned down, about the fantastic time she'll have back home. (She knows she's trying to convince herself.) There are no tearful promises of eternity and Ted doesn't even tell her he loves her. She's thankful for it. Because she probably would have stayed, and she'd have been pissed about it.

\---

When she comes home, nothing has really changed. The mail is piling up on the floor. Annie brought her books and neatly pinned her schedule on the wall. Britta slides down to the floor, holding her knees close to her chest. She calls Shirley, because there is no way the first thing she's going to do home is cry alone about the boy she left in New York.

Predictably, everyone is still the same, and all her days are filled with wacky hijinks, just like she wanted. She studies and she parties and she hugs her friends and she stars in Abed's movies and she laughs and she tries to keep Chang out of the study group. It's just that sometimes, she'll see the back of a guy with unruly dark hair and great jeans and stop walking, stop breathing, as every damn thing rushes back to her head. Sometimes she'll start thinking _Ted Ted Ted Ted Ted Ted_ like a mantra, in the middle of a class, when Jeff talks to her, when Troy asks her something about dance class. It doesn't ruin her life or anything. It just happens.

She still hears from New York from time to time. Wendy gets engaged ("oh my God, I'm so happy for you! Even though marriage is a institution meant to tear women's wings away and keep them in cages. I can't wait to see your dress!"). Everybody finds out about Robin and Barney at different times and they all think they're the only ones in on the secret ("classic sitcom premise", Abed comments). Lily whines about building a Winter Wonderland village with her huge belly getting in the way. Ted has no class to teach this winter.

That last one goes round and round in her head. _No class to teach._ It just seems so full of possibilities. Like a Christmas gift that she didn't dare to ask for, because she wasn't nice enough, because she can't ask Ted to come to Colorado for four whole months.

He comes anyway. It's Christmas and he surprises her and it's like in a movie. The ridiculous kind of feel-good movies that you're afraid to let yourself want. She sees him from afar and she runs into his arms, and he proposes. Robin's "You've only dated her for two months, dumbass!" mixes with Shirley's "Oh, that's nice" and Britta laughs as she says no. Because it's Ted, and it's cheesy and it's cliché, but goddamn, she loves him.

They all take Architecture 101 that winter.

\---

"And that, kids, is how I met your mother."

"Hmmm," Abed says. "Not bad. But it could be fleshed out a little more - what about that pineapple anecdote that Marshall told me the other day? Very cinematic."

"Really? What does that have to do with Britta? It happened like, five years before."

"Everything is connected! Continuity! Character development! Your kids will dig it. Come on, rehearse again. Start with the day you met Robin."


End file.
